How do I explain the nervous excitement of anticipation .. wondering "is this going to be good? Is it going to be awkward? Will just being who we are be enough?" Meeting Thy's parents for the very first time as George's car pulls into our drive, the snow coming down, the lights from our doorway casting a glow into the dark and shadows on the now white lawn, my stomach clenches just a little and my heart pounds a bit harder as I open the front door. I wave, smiling big, because I really AM looking forward to this new development in our already topsy turvy, upside down, unorganized but very happy life and I want them to know how welcome they are. We love Thy, surely we will love her parents.
They climb out of the car, exhausted after driving up route 1 in a snow storm, in the back of an old Volvo with two dogs occasionally breathing down their necks, bags of clothing, food and four bottles of wine packed around them. Thy with a gorgeous arrangement of flowers, greenery and persimmons in her hands. They are smiling and we meet, look into each others eyes and hug.
Thuy, called Becky by her American friends, is tiny. I have to lean way down to hug her and I'm sure she was on tip toes and she smells wonderful. Cuong has a huge grin and a big hug for me and I have to lean a little bit down for him too, but the hug is strong and real.
How do I explain the immediate camaraderie shared and felt by all four of us. Two cultures melding swiftly, all differences disappear with each new thing we learn about each other. Becky and I are women, mothers, home makers, so much in common, but she has suffered things I can't even imagine. Things that have made her the strong amazing woman that she is. I listen in awe and then she laughs and her face is transformed and I instantly fall in love with her. The men are soon sharing their views and thoughts on deeper things, getting philosophical then laughing heartily over something one of them experienced in their past. Two men so different, yet so alike. Good hearts are joined.
George says there was a moment when he knew: "Mom's okay" and it wasn't long in coming. Both he and Thy had a bit of apprehension wondering how bringing their parents together for the holiday would go. They knew they'd be there to help "break the ice" but soon found out no breaking was needed, there was no ice.
We ate. Seafood chowder prepared by Brad with crusty bread and later apple pie by the fireplace. We talked. We went to bed that first night marveling over a phenomenon we never expected. Our hearts are lifted and we look forward to the following days with these two strangers who have become our good friends in just a matter of hours.
The holiday comes and goes in a blur of helping hands, happy faces, shared confidences, quiet moments, cozy fires and lots of laughter and the growing conviction that this is so good. No clocks, no schedule (turkey took way longer than expected) simply fitting in, relaxing, enjoying .. don't remember who made the coffee that time, but the pot was almost always full, as well as our bellies. Pastries, fruit, nuts, scones, pie .. there was cheese and a baguette and crackers that never got sampled.
A day of exploring, icy air, slippery sidewalks, hot coffee, cashmere gloves and blankets to "ooh" over, quick snapshots, no bags to carry, then home for more coffee, nibbles of this and that. Evening out, dinner their treat, taking our time, more talking, sharing, laughing, and home again to enjoy the fire, dogs in our laps, a puzzle and sleepy eyelids.
How do I explain this feeling that we are family already and having just met Becky, I don't want her to leave and she with tears in her eyes doesn't want to say good bye. So we don't. Instead it's "see you soon" as we begin to plan our next visit together. GA is beautiful in May they say, and there will most definitely be more trips north for them.
All because a boy went west and a girl went east and they met in Salt Lake City. How do I explain this feeling of having wider eyes and a larger heart and so much thankfulness running over and out. This melding of Doans and Graves is surely a very good thing, and yes, just being who we are is enough.
