Hush

The house has been quiet for long enough now .. my mornings are routine, my day stretches out and evening finally arrives along with the one who keeps me smiling.  It's too quiet which makes me think too much, mulling over, rehashing, regretting ... and then it occurs to me what a waste this is because it is too late now for a do over.  I can only move forward with a purpose in my heart to be better, gentler, kinder, more forgiving, more tolerant, more loving .. more gracious.  And always always remember that I am so far from perfect I have no right to pass judgement on any other human.

My heart holds a lot of love.  Some days that love overflows, splashing out on creatures big and small, on people around me who step back a little annoyed and try to brush it off or wring it out.  Ew, what IS that you just touched me with?  Embarrassed, now it is I who steps back, blushing a little and feeling silly that I'd thought they wanted some of that overflow.  Keep it to yourself, hold it in, don't let them know! I try to pretend it didn't happen and chasten myself silently.  "there you go again!"

Some people are not huggers, I have found out in what can be kindly called "awkward moments"   So, now that I know that, I'm fine without the hugs, so don't pretend you want a hug from me when a firm friendly handshake does just as well, if not better than that odd stiff armed hug you give me holding yourself away from me.   I can't accuse them of being "cold", they just don't want other people touching them.  It doesn't mean they don't "love" me ... I'm too much like a puppy or even a dog that sits at your feet, tongue hanging out with a silly grin on her face just waiting for approval and yes, love.

Just pat my head, smile at me and say "good girl" and I'll try not to trip you by laying at your feet.